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I’m often asked, “How can I get more energy for sex?” There are many responses to this question. The most obvious, being that we may simply be doing too much. My heart goes out especially to couples with young families who are living incredibly stressful and busy lives. However, young or old, if we want a better sex life we can benefit from making sex a higher priority in our lives.

If you are in that category of lovers who have sexual desire and are making sex a priority but still don’t have the energy for it, then here is a checklist of some of the more common possibilities to check out:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Low fitness level
• Poor diet
• Medications
• Adrenal exhaustion
• Hormone imbalance
• Thyroid Dysfunction
• Resentment
• Sleep disturbance
• Chronic pain
• Disease

As a counselor, I don’t pretend to be a specialist in medical conditions that can affect sex drive. So for a complete discussion on improving libido caused by medical problems, see the work of Judith Reichman, MD. (1998). Although her book was written for women, many of the same physical problems naturally afflict men. Hopefully, your own physician will be open to discussing sexual issues with you if the need arises. However, if you don’t get the help you need on your first try, keep looking rather than just giving up. You and your sex life are too important for that!

Fortunately, many of these problems have solutions. Are you seeking solutions or possibly just accepting lower than normal energy? This is by no means a complete list of possible problems which can interfere with sexual energy, just those that I have found most common. For better sex, the physical and mental issues need to be dealt with either through conventional or holistic medicine. Please see your health care practitioner to rule out physical problems.

The reality is that sex can only be as good as the general health of the body and mind. It’s that simple! Without energy, flexibility, muscle tone, and hormone balance, one’s ability to express through sexual activity will be greatly compromised. Luckily, we can all be doing activities which increase our level of wellness, no matter what the current level is. How much attention do you pay to these things? How limited is your sexual expression due to weakness in these areas of wellness? And finally, are you doing everything you can to create the energy you need for pleasure (of all kinds). If not, why not?

Tags: general health, hormone imbalance, medical problems, sexual issues, sleep disturbance

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